omg I'm dying (not literally but freaking out)

So September of last year I met this guy on a dating site. Kind of hit it off and he suggested we meet up. Sure. I even missed Dancing with the Stars to meet him! He was a good kisser, but then ya know. Just no. and he kind of did a jerky thing. That was the end of that.

Earlier this year (maybe 5 or 6 months ago?) he sent me a message. Basically “hi, remember me? here’s my number again if you want to hook up.” I responded back. “hey how’s it going. I’m good”...and that was the end of that.

Here’s where the whole “omg I’m dying…” comes in. I got a new job (a month ago tomorrow!) and there was a guy there who caught my eye. I remembered his name from introductions so I looked him up on facebook. Interesting, we had a friend in common. A girl I went to high school with (who was also friends with my “cousins”). A few weeks go by and I decide to add him (and another girl we work with). Both add me back and more and more I’m finding these things we (me and the guy) kind of have in common.

Today I do some browsing (stalking?) on his page…mostly looking at pictures (I like drummers) and winding my way through other pages and get to this one page. Not much is shown, but I see the friends section. Someone catches my eye. OMG No way! It can’t be?! IT IS! IT’S THE GUY I MET UP WITH LAST SEPTEMBER (2010)! The guy I work with is friends with the brother of the guy I met on the dating site!

OMG I’M FREAKING OUT MAN!

SMALL WORLD! Downey you are too small for me!

you make me stupid

I have no problem casually talking to guys. Even ones I find mildly attractive, but once every blue moon, there’s a guy who makes me stupid. I can’t utter a word, let alone a sentence for fear of sounding...stupid. All I can manage is a smile or wave in passing. Then in my head I have this whole conversation. What I would have said, what he would have said, my response...you know a conversation. But it’s all in my head.

I’m in that stupid stage again. right now. 4 days a week. It wasn’t like that before, but one day stupid reared it’s head, and seems like it’s here to stay.

When I smile and wave, I really would like to do more, it’s just that stupid is over me.