ugly

I think I'm coming down with something.

Monday I paid attention to my reflection in the ladies restroom at work and omg started nitpicking how I looked (even wished I had smaller boobs and I LOVE MY BOOBS!) I felt so ugly.

and it went down hill from there. one of my socks wouldn't stay up, my mom was at work and wouldn't be able to pick me up and my dad was over an hr away so I had to walk home...the "comfort" inserts I got for my shoes ended up making my feet hurt 2 hours before they did without them.

it even hurt (not physically but it didn't feel right) to smile at people at work.

All that boiled down to me not wanting to watch Hawaii Five-0 or any tv for that matter.

Hope Tuesday is better.

guilty as charged

Thanksgiving yesterday was better than most, I guess. My dad was a pain as usual and my mom packed the entire kitchen (only not really) before we finally left for my sister’s.

More car drama. the front passenger side window shattered when my mom closed the driver’s side door. It was taking her longer than usual to bring the car to the front door so we could load it up and when I asked my dad what happened, he said we had a wreck. Umm what? he wasn’t even concerned either. Just went about folding his socks. So I’m asking questions trying to figure out what happened and finally gave up and walked to where the car was parked. I saw the shattered glass and looked in to see if someone did that to break into the car. Nope, radio still there, change in the ashtray still there...nothing was taken. I asked my mom what happened and that’s when she told me. she said she didn’t notice if anything was lodged in the window before it broke and now it was too late as the car was parked next to a gutter so anything that could have been there was no in the storm drain.

My dad is now off dealing with that. I’m wondering if he’s also going to get the windshield fixed. there’s 2 pretty long cracks and that was the only thing keeping me from using the car for my behind the wheel testing with the DMV.

all week my dad had been saying he was going to get up at 4am and do some "Black Friday" shopping. I got up at 3am and he was still sleep. then woke up again at 6:15am or so and he was still sleep. I contemplated going to Staples (1TB external hard drive for $50!) but it was cold and I was still very sleepy. Went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 10:30am. Now that he had to get the window fixed, I don’t know if he was going to go to Fry’s Electronics or Big Lots ($6 TV Show DVD sets!)

I spilled soda on my dad's keyboard and for like 30 minutes or so it was working fine. Then it stopped working. so I turned off the computer and began to look for a replacement one. couldn't find one so I had to call and tell my dad what happened. much to my relief he said not to worry about it because he took a couple of keyboards to the garage.

I still feel like such an idiot tho. I had my cup quite a ways away from the keyboard, but when it fell, it kind of bounced causing the soda to go air born and get in the keyboard.

omg I'm dying (not literally but freaking out)

So September of last year I met this guy on a dating site. Kind of hit it off and he suggested we meet up. Sure. I even missed Dancing with the Stars to meet him! He was a good kisser, but then ya know. Just no. and he kind of did a jerky thing. That was the end of that.

Earlier this year (maybe 5 or 6 months ago?) he sent me a message. Basically “hi, remember me? here’s my number again if you want to hook up.” I responded back. “hey how’s it going. I’m good”...and that was the end of that.

Here’s where the whole “omg I’m dying…” comes in. I got a new job (a month ago tomorrow!) and there was a guy there who caught my eye. I remembered his name from introductions so I looked him up on facebook. Interesting, we had a friend in common. A girl I went to high school with (who was also friends with my “cousins”). A few weeks go by and I decide to add him (and another girl we work with). Both add me back and more and more I’m finding these things we (me and the guy) kind of have in common.

Today I do some browsing (stalking?) on his page…mostly looking at pictures (I like drummers) and winding my way through other pages and get to this one page. Not much is shown, but I see the friends section. Someone catches my eye. OMG No way! It can’t be?! IT IS! IT’S THE GUY I MET UP WITH LAST SEPTEMBER (2010)! The guy I work with is friends with the brother of the guy I met on the dating site!

OMG I’M FREAKING OUT MAN!

SMALL WORLD! Downey you are too small for me!

you make me stupid

I have no problem casually talking to guys. Even ones I find mildly attractive, but once every blue moon, there’s a guy who makes me stupid. I can’t utter a word, let alone a sentence for fear of sounding...stupid. All I can manage is a smile or wave in passing. Then in my head I have this whole conversation. What I would have said, what he would have said, my response...you know a conversation. But it’s all in my head.

I’m in that stupid stage again. right now. 4 days a week. It wasn’t like that before, but one day stupid reared it’s head, and seems like it’s here to stay.

When I smile and wave, I really would like to do more, it’s just that stupid is over me.

Left to my own devices

in a matter of hours my parents will be off on their 5 day Mexican cruise. they aren't too worried that what happened to the cruise ship from last week will happen to them, but if something does, my mom is "prepared". she bought a bunch of snacks and is taking some of my bottled water. Has me wondering how many people are going to be doing that now in light of what happened to the ship from last week.

Next Sunday is a Thanksgiving potluck dinner at my church and I have to do the shopping by myself. Everyone I'd ask for help is working (or in the case of my mom, on vacation). I know if I drove, this wouldn't be a problem. If I buy a little every morning before work, this shouldn't be a problem come Friday and Saturday when I do the final shopping.

Speaking of driving, my friend said the weekends she doesn't have to work, she'll give me behind the wheel driving lessons. This is good considering my dad hogs the car that's good for practicing driving.

Have errands to do before work. Hope everyone has a good Monday!

chickened out

so I was going to ask my co-worker out but I chickened out. we're friends on facebook. maybe I'll do it there. *snerk* I went to high school with one of his cousins and she’s friends with my cousins. How weird it that? such a small world!

Downey/Warren football game on Thursday. I’m going. I haven’t been to a football game in years! Before the game will be In N Out. Just dawned on me that I’m going to miss some of Thursday CBS night (The Big Bang Theory, $#*! My Dad Says, CSI and The Mentalist). The game starts at 7 pm and since this is a rivalry game (and sure to be good) it probably won’t be over until 930 or 10 pm.

time for bed. before that I have to take the trash out *grumbles*. then eat the last of the ice cream (my dad wanted it, whatever) and go to bed. 4 day weekend!

issues issues issues

Friday I got my first paycheck from the Library job. Then Saturday night I was looking over my pay receipt and noticed the hours were off. I was paid for 31.5 hours when I clearly remember and noting in my supervisor's prescience) that I worked 32 hours. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why I was suddenly short 30 minutes of pay.

Sunday my boss (church boss) asked if I figured out why I was short and said no but I'd be asking my supervisor about it. About 10 minutes after that I realized why I was short. and it made me kind of mad too.

In our employee handbook it says we can take a paid 15 minute break or unpaid 30 minute break. Well on October 28th as I was going to break my supervisor tells me that the Library Secretary needs to talk to me and another new girl. The Library Secretary is in charge of the employee lockers and dealing with the time sheets (where my supervisor is in charge of setting work schedules). So we talk to her and she takes our pictures to put on the employee board. That took my 15 minute break and I was hungry so I signed out for my 15 minutes (I hadn't done so before going to see the Secretary) and do my business then go back to work.

My supervisor had to have made a mark on my time sheet noting that I took 30 minutes and there for that's an unpaid break. 3 days after payday I'm trying to figure out how to talk to my supervisor about this. Talking to the Secretary took away from a break I should have had. If they knew I needed to have this conversation, it should have been before my shift or after.